DATING: Part One    (07/14/06)

Alright, so a big topic to think about is dating.  You know...when you see that cute guy or that pretty girl and your heart starts beating just a little faster, and finally someone gets the nerve to talk to the other person...or email them, and a wonderful "friendship" is started.  Dating can be great, but dating can also be a problem.
Here's what happens.  You make eye contact AT THE SAME TIME, and you think, "Hey, they like me!"  Then, you start "hanging out" together, and then emailing, IM'ing, texting and talking on the phone.  You think, "This is it.  This person is awesome!"  Did you know that every date is a potential mate?  What I mean by that is that everyone you date could be the person that you end up marrying.
Let me give you a little personal history.  I dated girls all through jr. high and high school.  Okay, is it really considered dating in jr. high, especially when all you do is pass notes, because you are too shy to actually speak to the girl?  Anyway, there were a bunch of girls, and a bunch of hurt feelings, broken hearts, tears (and that was all just from me).  There was a lot of drama, and stuff like that.  It was not all that it was cracked up to be.  I wasn't old or mature enough to even know what I wanted in a wife, and it was not even realized until I met Shallon (this is the part where everyone says, "Aaahhhh.")
One of the big things is everyone wants to know how far is too far.  In other words, what can I do and still be okay with God.  I think Mr. David Livingston said it best on Wednesday night.  He talked about the line in the sand that God draws, and that line represents sin.  We like to get all the way up to the line and get as close as we can without going over.  That is the wrong thing to do.  Cause when we get all close to sin, it is very easy to make that step over the line.  Instead, we ought to say how far away from the line can I stay?  When it comes to dating, it shouldn't be, "How far can I go?", but rather, "How little can I do?". 
1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 says this: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.  For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness."
What that means is really quite simple.  It is God's will that we are sexually pure.  It is God's will that we don't take advantage of people.  It is God's will that we act honorably towards each other and towards ourselves.  The passage says that we should each know how to posses our own vessel in sanctification (holiness) and honor (respect).  The passage states that  we are not to take advantage or defraud others.  Let me talk about defrauding others.  There are two parts to this.  First of all, let me give you the definition of defraud.  To defraud someone means to deprive someone of something by deceit or fraud.  So what does that have to do with dating?  Good question, and thanks for asking!  If we do something with a guy or a girl, we are taking away their gift of purity that they should be giving to their future husband or wife on their wedding day.  We are also defrauding that future spouse of a pure person.  Think about this.  Let's say that you were at my house, and for some reason needed to borrow a t-shirt from me.  So I reached into my hamper and pulled out my sweaty, nasty, dirty shirt that I had worn to play basketball earlier in the day.  And I looked at you and said, "Here you go!  This is my favorite shirt, and I got it just for you."  You would not really want to wear it.  In fact, most of you would be disgusted!  It's really the same way with our bodies.  We should want to keep them pure and clean for God and also for our husband or wife.  But defrauding has a second connotation in this passage.  God created sex with a two fold purpose, to make more children, but also as a beautiful expression of love between two married people.  If we are doing anything that gets someone to the point where they can only be satisifed through sexual intimacy, it is defrauding them.  And the Bible tells us that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is wrong.  So we are not to defraud each other.