DATING: Part Three    (07/14/06)

Guys...now it is your turn.  You are supposed to be  the leader spiritually in the home, the church, and relationships.  So what's the deal?  Why aren't you?  Every guy wants to be "the man"; guess what...God wants you to be the man, also.  But I have a feeling that God's definition and your definition are two totally different things.  God desires for you to live a holy and pure life in all areas.  He has established that men are the head of the household.  He didn't do this because women are inferior, He did this so that there is order.  My wife is better than me at almost everything, although I may have her in basketball.  But the truth is that God created the family with order, and as men, we are to take the lead spiritually.  That means that before you are ready to be in a dating relationship, you need to make sure that your life is where God wants it to be spiritually.  That means that you need to have a desire to know God's Word, a desire to see other Christians grow, a desire to see people come to the Lord.  Then, when you are dating, you have a desire to see that girl grow.  You don't want anything to happen to cause her to stumble or slide backwards in her walk with Christ.  Guys, I am sure that you all read the section I wrote to the girls, but just in case one of you didn't let me tell you this: I told the girls that if you are not living for Christ, and if you are not a spiritual leader in the relationship, then they need to not date you.  It is not the girls responsibility to tell you when something happens that is "too far".  It is not the girls responsibility to be the spiritual leader.  It is not the girls responsibility to be the one to set the guidelines.  It is not the girls responsibility to pray and read the Bible and encourage you spiritually.  It is your responsibility.  And if you want to be the man, then you need to step up to God's plate and live for him!


Let me quickly touch base again about how physical is too physical.  Do not get as close to the line as you possibly can.  The temptation will be too great.  Instead, stay as far away from that line as you can possibly get.  Treat girls and women with respect.  Respect who they are.  Respect their future husband.  Treat them honorably.  Treat them lovingly.  Their bodies are not toys.  It is not for you to mess around with.  They belong to God and to their future husband.  I know people who did not kiss until they got married.  I know people who only held hands until they got married.  You need to be a man, set your standards and guideline as high as you can, and then don't waiver off of them. 


The Bible, in 1 Thessalonians 4, also talks of keeping your own vessel in sanctification and honor.  This means you need to keep your body and mind pure.  God tells us to think about what is, "true...noble...just...pure...lovely...of good report....virtuous...(and)...praiseworthy" (Philippians 4:8).  Job 31:1 says, "I have set a covenant before my eyes; how then can I look upon a young woman?"  Psalm 101:3 says, "I will set nothing wicked before my eyes..."  These verses are talking about what we are looking at and what we are thinking about.  When you are looking at a girl, or talking to a girl, you should be looking into her eyes.  Not checking her out.  Show her respect, and show her you are a man of integrity.  Psalm 119:11 says, "Your Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against You."  The Bible is the answer to how we become men of integrity.  By reading, studying and memorizing the Word of God we can keep from sinning against God.


Marriage is fun.  Dating the one you will eventually marry is great.  But make sure that you do it with honor and respect.  And make sure that you are the spiritual leader.